Finding Myself Do you ever feel like someone is making you someone you aren’t? The people that you hang out with influence who you are as a person. Unfortunately, I was someone who started to change the way I was because people wanted me too. I found myself forgetting about God, my family, sports, and my grades. Something like this took a very personal turn on how I viewed life and people in general. It was in the summer that I realized how much being “cool” meant to somebody. One day, my friend named Jessica and I were being ignored by the rest of our roup of friends.
We didn’t seem to mind it as much in the beginning, until it happened again. We started to wonder why they didn’t like us anymore. Amba, the oldest one in the group explained to us that we weren’t “cool enough” to be with them anymore. She was implying that we didn’t get into bad things with them and go to parties with all of these boys. When I heard her telling me this, my heart broke into pieces. It was sad to say that I changed the way I was for who they wanted me to be. Since I was so upset, I didn’t talk to her for a couple of days.
I really thought about what I should do. I was too young to realize that a friendship with someone wasn’t worth changing who I was. When I started talking to her, she agreed to let me back into the group if I did some of the things that were “cool”. I went to a couple of parties that had people acting very immature. Although I didn’t do any of these things they were doing, I still pretended like I was and acted as if I were enjoying it. I started to have a lot of boyfriend’s that would keep my mind away from my school work and my family.
My boyfriends would even keep me away from doing the things I love including sports. Everything was happening so fast, and even my “friends” couldn’t recognize me. On a warm summer night, Jessica came up to me. “How have you been Alex? I haven’t talked to you in so long. Church and swimming aren’t the same without you,” Jessica asked with a sad face. “Im doing alright Jessica. How are you though? You seem so down lately,” I quietly said to her. Looking at me straight in the eye, she said “I don’t even know what to think of you anymore.
You have changed so much in the past couple of weeks. It’s like we aren’t even friends anymore. ” I Just stared off into space wondering how I have changed. Of course, I denied changing into the person I was, but I didn’t have any facts to back it up. It was that moment that I knew I had to change who I was. I grew from this experience because now I knew that you don’t have to change for other people. I realized that it wasn’t all Just about what you wore, how many boyfriends you have, and how many parties you go to.
I came to understand that it as about being yourself, having good grades, and being with your true friends and family. I have learned that I need to have some self-respect for my-self and I should never force myself to do something I don’t feel comfortable with. I am no longer friends with the group of girls because I have different morals and respect for myself. help me realize I was making a big mistake with my life. If I learned anything , it would be to do the things you love, laugh at the things you find funny, and show people you love them because they love you for who you are.