Sex, and Lasting Relationships by Ingram “Love is the state in which man sees things most widely different from what they are. ” -Nietzsch Many times we just forgo some of the warnings of love and we fall into infatuation. Our love is biased, meaning we don’t let time indicate the growth of our love, we often forget that love is centered in the partner, that we need to grow everyday in order to have a better relationship with God and each other. Sometimes we fall in love with two people, when true love focuses on one, we often follow our flesh.
Many times we feel insecure about our partner, when in true love we don’t even have to think about deceive. We very often try to skip the obstacles instead of fighting together, we let distance become an obstacle, is it real love? In general we are a generation of the present, when getting into a relationship; we forget that an important thing is to think about the future together, driven by our media and our sex centered society it is really easy to get overwhelmed by a miss leaded definition of love. ove has three main components: those of the spirit, mind, and body. Ingram calls these agape, phileo, and eros: selfless love, a beautiful friendship, and physical love. Interestingly, and according to what I see in our society and in what is portrayed in the media… love is eros, more and more erotic scenes, more and more body involved, less talk more action, what is that? Our societies conception of love, seemingly, has fallen into a selfish flesh satisfying “Love”.
I mean it is well understood that love comes first through our eyes, and that this physical attraction is a very important part of a relationship, but love cannot stand on it itself, if we are driven only by eros, we are more averse to fall into sinning by cheating on our partners, our view of Though to help eros, there is “phileo”, or companionship. This love is the kind of love needed to get to know each other well, sometimes we are just rushed by our emotions and we step into a relationship we did not mean to get into.
Firstly we need to spend time with each other, but spending time itself is nothing, unless we share our lives openly, and freely. We need to have this companionship were we play games, we share our happiness and our sadness, what pastors often call quality time. By listening to my friends, those who are in a relationship, I have noticed that all the talks they have with their partners (be them couples or just friends), are very superficial, arrogant and self-centered, meaning there is also a third component for love to be fulfilled.
The third component of love is the so called “Agape”, the selfless love, the not infatuated. And I really like how the author puts it “giving others the most when they deserve the less”. And better defined in 1 Corinthians 13. Are we in love or infatuated? “Indeed, steamy starts do not promote our best thinking. Intense emotions often block us from taking a careful and objective look at ourselves, the person we are dating, and the relationship we are forming.