Most Important Life Changing Event

There is one thing that happened in my life that changed it forever. This is the day my stepdad, Taylor, died. It started as a normal school day my freshman year. No one came to school because we were about to get off for a holiday, so everyone that showed up went to the auditorium to watch movies. A teacher came looking for me and said that I had to go to the office. I thought I was in trouble or something. When I walked in and saw my grandma and my aunt, I knew something was wrong. They made me sit down and they told me that Taylor had died.

My mind automatically went to my mom and little sister and how badly they would freak out. I knew that I had to put my feelings aside and help them as much as possible. When we got back to my house and got out of the car I could already hear my mom screaming and crying hysterically. I went inside and hugged her and I cried but I didn’t let her see because I knew that it would make her cry even more. They hadn’t picked my little sister, Mackenzie, up from school yet, and my mom was going crazy trying to figure out how to tell her that her dad died.

I pulled my mom’s best friend into my room and asked her what I needed to do about how we were gonna get money and that she could help me get a second job. I told her how I knew I would have to take care of my mom and sis, but that I was going to need her help. When it got overwhelming, I went outside with her daughter, Linzy, who was one of my best friends and I finally allowed myself to cry until my sister got home. When my mom told her that her daddy was in heaven and that he could never come back she started crying and said, “does that mean he can’t take us fishing anymore? ” Taylor had bought a boat and promised he would take us fishing.

It broke my heart to see her like that. Linzy and I couldn’t take it, so we went outside and both cried. When it came time for the funeral, I couldn’t even stay in the room. I knew how badly I’d lose it, so my friends came sit with me outside almost the whole time. I wanted to get away, as far away as possible, but I knew I had to stay for my mom and sister. The entire time the funeral went one was hell. Seeing Taylor lay in the casket motionless, seeing everyone I care about cry their eyes out, and knowing I’d never get the chance to tell him how much I loved him was all too much.

I literally wanted to kill myself. After the funeral was over, I pushed all of my hurt aside to take care of my mom and sister. I watched them lose their minds, and there was nothing I could do but be there for them and take care of them. I was like a parent for both of them for almost a year. Over time, they got better little by little, as I continued to get worse. They’re better now, and I can finally grieve. But I still don’t grieve in front of them, because if I do, it makes their pain come back.