Reaction to Triarchic Theory of Love According to Sternberg

Wherein he shows us the different components of love, namely: intimacy, passion and decision/ commitment. This theory shows that love can be understood in terms of the three components, and they can be viewed as forming the triangle. Intimacy acts as the top vertex of the triangle, passion acts as the left point of the triangle and decision/commitment acts as the right point of the triangle. According to Sternberg, intimacy is refers to the feeling of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness in loving relationships.

It can also be the feeling experienced happiness with the loved one, high regard for the loved one, being able to count on the loved one in times of need, mutual understanding with the loved one, sharing of one’s self and one’s possessions with the loved one, receipt of emotional support from the loved one, giving of emotional support to the loved one, intimate communication with the loved one, and valuing the loved one in one’s life. The next component, passion refers to the drive that leads to romance, physical attraction and lust in relationships.

This component allows people in a relationship to experience passion and arousal. As for relationships that are fueled by passion, meaning the “arousal” drew the in to the relationship, it is the intimacy component that sustains the closeness in the relationship. And the last component, decision/ commitment can be defined in terms of the length of the relationship, in short term it can be defined as the decision we make to love someone, whereas in long term it can be defined as the commitment to maintain that love.

If likened to temperature, intimacy can viewed as the “warm” one, passion as the “hot” one and decision/commitment as the “cold” one. In sum, all these three components are important in a loving and strong relationship, without the other, the relationship may not last as long. REACTION: Love. A four-letter word which means what? A great man once said, “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. ” Who is this man? Aristotle. David Byrne said, “Sometimes it’s a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence. Mark Twain said, “Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. Do you understand it? Is it the same for you? Do you now know exactly what love is? I don’t. But I’ll try to sort things out through my experience and maybe, I can show you and tell you what love is. Love has been called many things, defined a thousand times, analyzed for ages. But no one can put into words what love is. Maybe because no words can explain or define what love is? No matter how cliche, mushy and hopelessly romantic that sounds, it’s true.

Love is not easy to explain. Try it yourself and see how far you got, I’ll bet your still on “It’s what you feel. ” From my experience, love brings you hope, pain, joy, memories worthy of treasuring forever and love. Love is shared between two people who have feelings towards each other, it may be a friend, or a special someone. And loving is never easy. From my experience, it did bring joy and pain. I’m not trying to scare you. Even if love brings pain, the joy that comes with it is wondrous. A joy that is immeasurable.

A joy that has the power to make the pain and the burdens you have go away. It gives you butterflies in your stomach; it makes your heart do somersaults, it makes you nervous, it makes you cry, it makes you laugh, it makes you see the beauty in everything. Love is truly beautiful. And I think, without love, the world we know today would have ceased to exist a long time ago. Even amidst all these chaos, deep within we can find love. So, from what I see, love is everywhere, found in all things, beautiful and confusing.

References:

Sternberg, Robert J. “A triangular theory of love.” Psychological review 93.2 (1986): 119.

Sternberg, Robert J. “Liking versus loving: A comparative evaluation of theories.” Psychological Bulletin 102.3 (1987): 331.

Beall, Anne E., and Robert J. Sternberg. “The social construction of love.” Journal of Social and Personal Relationships 12.3 (1995): 417-438.

Sternberg, Robert J., and Karin Weis. The new psychology of love. Yale University Press, 2006.

Sternberg, Robert J., and Todd I. Lubart. “The concept of creativity: Prospects and paradigms.” Handbook of creativity 1 (1999): 3-15.

Fehr, Beverley. “A prototype approach to studying love.” The new psychology of love (2006): 225-246.

Bisson, Melissa A., and Timothy R. Levine. “Negotiating a friends with benefits relationship.” Archives of sexual behavior 38.1 (2009): 66-73.